Meta: The Transition Scene
A.K.A Scene 1.5
By Sean Jones
[Enter all actors, doing bows, any other traditions symbolizing the end of a show]
Director [in audience]:
Wait!
[Actors react in general confusion. The director gets out of the audience and walks onto the stage.]:
What was that? It was ten freaking minutes long!
Henry:
That was the show obviously, what else could it be?
Director:
Good, it could have been good.
Sara:
Are you saying that we did a bad job?
Director:
That is exactly what I am saying.
Jack:
That's ridiculous, not to mention totally not our fault.
Margret:
Yeah! After all, whose idea was it not to have rehearsal the past two weeks?
Henry:
By the way, why did you decide to do that?
Director:
Because… Because…
Sara:
Sorry, can't here you there.
Director:
Because shut up.
Sara:
What!
Direct:
You heard me, shut your trap. I know that I was a crappy director, but you know what, an artist is only as good as his tools.
Margret [To Sara]:
Did he just really call us tools?
Sara [To Margret]:
I think he did…
Jack:
Woah, we did a fine job, right guys?
Actors:
Right!
Director:
The lot of you are biased. It shouldn't count.
Henry:
A majority is a majority, so HA!
Director:
*Sigh* Fine. [Paces around a bit] Wait, I know how to beat your majority! [Turns to audience] Hey Audience!
Margret:
Oh no.
Direct:
We're going to take a poll.
Jack:
Don't you dare!
Director:
Everyone who liked this play say Aye!
Audience:
Aye!
[Director winces]
Director:
Well… That was…
Henry:
Awesome is the word I think you're looking for.
Director:
No no, we need to be fair. Everyone who didn't like the play say Nay!
Audience:
Nay.
Director:
I'm sorry, I'm a trifle dear in this ear, could you please try again?
Sara:
Hey, that's not-
Henry:
1, 2, 3!
Audience:
Nay!
Director:
Well, I guess I have to be fair. We'll call it a draw.
Jack:
What! They so loved us more!
Margret:
Dude, I think we should give up.
Director:
Yes, the play is ruined, we are doomed!
Henry:
Wait.
Director:
Hm?
Henry:
I have an idea!
Sara:
Oh My God I'm having flashbacks.
Director:
Yes Henry, what is it?
Henry:
We have some time until the next show starts…
Director:
We do, exactly 10 minutes.
Jack:
That is mighty convenient.
Director:
No matter! Now, who is ready for some improve?
Actors:
*Groan*
Sara:
Can we not? I hate improve.
Margret:
I think you're the only one who likes it.
Director:
We have to, the some must go on!
Jack:
The show technically already happened.
Henry:
Old buddy, old pal, shut up and get ready.
Margret:
Seriously guys, no improve, we are already straining the audiences patience as it.
Director:
Then what do you suppose we do then?
[Margret holds up the script that she picked up at the end of scene 1]
Margret:
This.
Director:
What? Those are just some blank pieces of paper I found backstage, what could that possibly do to help us. [Takes script]
*Beat*
There is a script here.
Sara:
We noticed.
Director:
But why?
Henry:
I had to write it, remember?
Director:
You didn't actually have to write one, you know that right?
Henry:
Really? That's lame.
Director:
How did you even write this in so little time?
Henry:
I drank the elixir. Besides, any moron can write a script that's only ten minutes long.
Director:
But the elixir wasn't…
Jack:
Director! [He puts arm around director and leads him away]
I think at this point, we should just go with it.
*Beat*
Director:
You are right. [ Goes back to group] I don't care how this happened, but let's go!
Sara:
But we don't know any of it!
Director:
You have one minute till places. Scatter!
[Actors scramble offstage]
*sigh* Such lovable scamps
[Walks to curtain and rolls underneath]
You techies ready?
Techies:
Yessir!
Director:
Good. Oh hey *Name of a actress*, need some help changing?
Actress:
Touch me and die.
Director:
If you say so.
*Slap*
[Director walks from under curtain. Slap mark noticeable]
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to scene to of Meta: Or How We Stopped Worrying and Learned to Write One Act. While it won't be the most… prepared performance ever seen, you will certainly find it the most sporadic. Well anyway, enjoy the show!
[Director goes into the audience]
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