Thats how people start stories right? Anyway, here we we go. Yeah.
So he is awalkin’ down the street, some average joe smith. He is yeh high and had a cigar in his mouth, which is weird, because who smokes a cigar these days? I thought that freudian guy kind of made it for anyone to be walking around, minding his business, with his mouth full of di- smoke! From the cigar! But the most noticible thing on his face were his sunglasses. Man he had good sunglasses!
So he is awalkin’ along the street, not caring about anything you know? Those sunglasses are blocking out his eyes, so you cant see where he is looking. But the I notice somthin’. I noticed that he wasn’t stopping, not for nothing you know? Pedistrians, children, hot dog vendors, schoolbuses filled with children , nuns, cars, old ladies, buses with nuns, and a box of kittens.
He is just barrelling along a straight line, no regard for anyone in his way you know? But somehow this guy is perfectly fine. So I’m watching this guy, and I’m thinking, and while I am thinking I come up with three theories.
1. He is moronic. Not likely due to his awesome sunglasses which only cool people should have, and even stupid people have limits.
2. He was blind. I mean, that tie with that shirt? At the very least he was colorblind. The sunglasses were a good indicator of this, but unless the guy just became deaf and the male version of hellen keller, that wasn’t likely.
Finally, there was my third idea. He was asleepin’, I mean asleptwalkin’. A Sleep Walkin’. This was the most likely, because he wasn’t wearing pants. And if I remember one thing from scooby-doo, aside from the fact that every real estate agent is evil and wants you off your property, is that you should never wake up someone who is a sleepingwalkin’.
So there I am, running in front of him, shouting at people to get out of his way. But I had to shout real quietly you know? So that I wouldn’t wake him up. But no one heard me, so I was basically pushing people out of his way for him. But I’ a real fast runner right, so when the traffic light changed… I was on one side, and he was in the middle.
A bus came. It was filled with children, nuns, and a box of kittens. Karma told me his time had come.
I wont horror you with the gory details of the devastating crash, but I will share with you the bright side of all of this.
At least I got these cool sunglasses.
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